His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
