Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
