When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
