I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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