it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
