You can't special order awesome
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
