Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
