What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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