somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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