Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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