yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
