i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
