I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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