So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
