and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Two words: blizzard sex
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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