no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
These tits shall not be calmed
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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