Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
