we have pet lesbian snakes
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
