That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
