she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
