handjob tips. give me some.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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