My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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