um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
