I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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