I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
