I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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