if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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