Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
