would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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