whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
