My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
