I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
