Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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