...so i touched it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
