I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
