What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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