Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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