we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
don't judge my taste in strippers
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
