K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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