Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
