How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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