check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
