Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You've changed since you got that strap on
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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