weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This baby is an asshole
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
