you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
