since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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