I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
