I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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