he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
