I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
