This girl is more easily done than said...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
