that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
